Within this scheduled structure of relative stability, I feel as though my mind is slipping again. I'm drifting towards the path of other's whims and my very being is becoming but a blur. I am at a loss to adequately describe my motivation for further strives in resourcefulness, creativity, and individuality.
On a related level, the sociopolitical design here bothers me in that it is more restrictive than what I am accustomed to. People are afraid to speak and think freely, and this presents several obstacles to my research. I must take notice of what I do and say for worry of reprisal from the authorities. As such, some people whom I speak to fear having a greater level of knowledge on social and historical issues which are considered to be controversial. I would prefer to elaborate through specific cases, but identities must be protected.
The dissemination of information within this region exists on a differential scale when compared to certain events reported elsewhere in outside news media. In a sense, my relative expectations for awareness among the local populace on such issues as human rights and socioeconomic equality comes from the ethnocentrism of the environment that I have lived in for the majority of my life. This notion of thought is therefore unrealistic when applied here as the culture of conservatism is greater in these parts. Through limited knowledge of social issues and circumstances, those whom already live comfortable lives generally do not have much interest in what happens outside of their own being--a degree of social apathy is not uncommon here. It is generally the case that there is a very noticeable consensus or common level of agreement among the citizenry here in that people here seem to accept a great deal of things at face value. Of course, this could be an overgeneralization on my part.
On a less serious note, the following is an observation of a street scene from approximately two weeks ago. Odd how the relatively simple flow of life--people commuting on motorbikes, cars in the left lane, and even a middle-aged man walking past--seem to move at magnificent, and even complex speeds while one is standing perfectly still on a street corner for ten minutes or more. From the vantage point of an onlooker, each person living within a society has his or her own daily purpose, whether freely chosen or not, in order to survive.
2 comments:
years of oppression by a hegemonic political system has created what you are so uncomfortable of, a society of fear and reluctance. maybe you'll get used to it as you enter a realm of what others are already in--apathy outside their own sphere of life.
Hao,
You made good observations. I saw the other day a tricycle broken down in the middle of a busy street. The driver did not care to push it to the side to let the traffic go. He just stayed in the middle of the street fixing his tricylce, totally unconcerned about the oncoming traffic. Motorcyles and cars just avoided him, as if everyone has his own thing to do, while tying the best he can not to cause an accident. This is also how the locals cross the street. They just seem to ignore oncoming vehicles which normally go around them.
Dad
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